Awake

Feel like I'm crawling on my belly

Longing and glad ...

Excited at prospects,

Humbled and mad

I have this problem: I hate going to bed. I wasn't always like this. I used to hate people who said "oh, I only need 6 hours a night", or "I'll sleep when I'm dead". I used to love my sleep and could easily do with 8-10 hours a night. But not anymore. Now I sit up. Surfing. Blogging. Photoshopping. Arranging my files on my computer. Pushing myself past the point of exhaustion.

My old self hated having a late night - knowing I had to get up and go to work in the morning. I think I needed so much energy to push me through the draining day that I took all the sleep I could get. I never understood people who were so inspired by their jobs that they went to sleep thinking about them and jumped up in the morning ready to do it all over again.

And yet here I am... "wa-wyd wakker" even though I know I should go to bed. Everyone in my life (well almost everyone) thinks it is a good/better/best idea for me to get to bed earlier and to get up earlier in the morning. But, let's face it, I've never been a morning person. Mornings are for happy people and I am on the decidedly grumpy end of "happy" in the morning.

At the end of the day, I function better at night. This I know for sure. The only niggle is, I suspect my late nights are taking their toll and my day-time functioning is starting to take a knock. I need to sleep, I know it. My head knows it, I just need to convince the rest of my body to listen.

Here is what I do in the wee hours of the morning. The photos were taken a few weekend ago. We took Adam to play Soccer (Yes, I call it soccer. Stop rolling your eyes all you purists) for the first time. It was cold and wet and muddy and dirty. And we all had a great time, I think it will be the first of many such visits. Although my little Virgo child was a little perturbed by the dirt on his hands...