No More Weddings!!

Here are some pictures of my friend, Jackie's wedding. They make a beautiful couple and it was a beautiful wedding!

I have officially decided that I am no longer going to any weddings! I have had enough of sitting on the sidelines and watching while other people promise to love each other and commit to each other in front of family and friends. Weddings have started to become a sad occasion for me and I find myself far too emotional throughout the whole affair, so I don't think that I can go to another one. I end up angry and sad and that gives me no right to be at someones wedding.

I am so sick and tired of being someones "girlfriend". It is such a stupid term for our relationship.

girlfriend (gûrl'frĕnd') n.

1. A favoured female companion or sweetheart.
2. A female friend.

Is this what I am to Dave? A favoured female friend? As if there are more out there, and I just happen to be the current favourite? I HATE buying Christmas and birthday cards because all the words for the cards for "boyfriends" are so cheesy and flowery. Our relationship is so NOT that of girlfriend and boyfriend so none of those cards apply. The words that I want in the card are only in the cards for husband... Maybe they should make cards that say "to the father of my child..." or "to my long term partner..."

Yesterday was the anniversary of our 8th year together. 8 years of ups and downs. Highs and lows. It looks like a marriage and smells like a marriage, but it isn't one. I get all the hard work of a marriage but none of the flowers. Anniversaries mean nothing when you are not married. Wives get gifts and cards and maybe flowers to celebrate yet another ear together. Other people remember the anniversary of your wedding and congratulate you on surviving with each other for another year. What is a piece of paper worth? It never used to mean anything to me and I never thought that I would want to get married. I never thought that I would want the piece of paper!

Actually, I don't really want the paper because I know it's not about that. What I really want is a ceremony in front of family and friends. I want a celebration with champagne and flowers. With love and laughter. And a photographer to capture the memories so that Adam can look back one day and say that that was the day my parents committed to each other. I don't want to be Mrs. But the crux is, I want him to want it. And he doesn't. So what's a girl to do.

At the end of the day, I guess I should be happy that the definition for girlfriend is at least more interesting that the definition for wife

wife
1. A female participant in marriage
2. The lawful consort of a man; a woman who is united to a man in wedlock; a woman who has a husband; a married woman; -- correlative of husband.

Why would a couple that lives and sleeps together every night need dates and rituals? Precisely because they live and sleep together. Bill Doherty

“I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that promise.” -Thornton Wilder