The laughter and the tears

I serendipitously found two quotes that firstly made me shriek with laughter and then made me cry.

After an exhausting weekend spent running after Adam every time he walked into the passage/kitchen/toilet. And shouting NO! every time he went to open the drawers or open the cupboard or pulled on a plug wire or pulled poor Nelly's tail or headed for Pop's precious but low-lying collection of photos, I was delighted to find the following:

Toddler’s Creed

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it is a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is a phone, I must hold it and talk to it.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in

without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

Then, this morning I had a little boy who would, under no circumstances, sit anywhere but on mommy's hip. Never mind that I had school bags to pack and lunches to get ready. Never mind that I had clothes and make-up to put on, hair to dry and teeth to brush. Every time I put him down I was rewarded with an almighty wail. I was eventually late for work because I had to rush to the Spar to buy myself a box of cereal so that I could have my breakfast at work. Then, when I thought all hope was lost and that I was finally going to crack, I found this quote which just made me cry:

I sit around now that the day is almost gone,
And I think back to what I have done.
Dishes are piled in my sink,
Toys are scattered beneath my feet.
Laundry is tossed in the chair,
Left there to sit without a care.
I still have yet to shower and dress,
I look like a complete mess!
But what I have done today
Will always in my heart stay.
I watched you, my child, smile and play,
And laugh at all the silly noises I make.
I peeked in to see you sleep,
Making sure not to make a peep.
I held you, rocked you, and gave you a kiss,
And you smiled back at me while eating your fist.
I cheered you on as you were learning to crawl,
And I caught you in my arms when you were about to fall.
I read you a story, and put you to bed,
And wondered what dreams were in your sleepy head.
Today what I have done and will always do,
Is be your mommy, and I love you.
~Author Unknown